Date 4 & Date 5

DATE 4 & DATE 5

Mr. Intellect and I have gone out again twice since my last post and things are progressing wonderfully.  I’ve realized that my blog may become a bit boring as my goal to kiss fifteen guys by Christmas is now rapidly changing to how to handle actually having a crush on a new guy.

Mr. Intellect and I went out for a nice dinner Wednesday before my business trip.  We had a few awkward moments before dinner with me being a bit overly sensitive to some of his remarks.  I’ve realized that my ex used to make such negative comments about my career that I become overly protective when people comment on my lawyerly status.  However, after reflecting the following day, it is so obvious Mr. I’s comments were not meant to be hurtful or mean but rather just typically banter.  Mr. I ended up staying at my apartment very very late and it was another wonderful date.  He is easy to talk to, very good looking, and makes me laugh.  His compliments leave me smiling for days.  He has a beard/mustache though and I am realizing that beard burn is a really big problem for my super sensitive skins – any tips ladies?

While in NYC for my women’s leadership conference, I received a few really supportive texts messages followed by a fun long phone call Friday afternoon.  I had plans to head down to Princeton, NJ Saturday to stay with my best friend and her husband for the night.  After that, I was heading on vacation for a long weekend.  Anxious to see me, Mr. Intellect offered to pick me up from Princeton and drive me to Philadelphia which was about an hour or so each way.  I was loving the idea of getting to see him before my vacation but also a little weary of him meeting my friends.  I was worried it may be too soon or may make us too serious.  At the same time, most of my friends do not live in Philadelphia and this seemed like a natural way for him to pass the screening of one of my closest friends.  My married friends were eager to meet him and we decided to do a low-key dinner.  My friend and I also made a homemade pumpkin cheesecake for dessert.  This friend is always so good at making me look domesticated ;)

Mr. Intellect fit right in with me and my friends.  Dinner was brief but conversation flowed naturally.  He was quick with his jokes and very comfortable around my friends.  I almost died when he would droop his arm across the back of my chair or casually place his hand on my leg throughout dinner.  When the check came, I was quick to pay to show him how appreciative I was of him coming to pick me up and making an effort with my friends.  He was obviously appreciative of this gesture!  He was also impressed by our delicious cheesecake. 

After we left my friend’s house, we had an hour drive back to my apartment where again conversation flowed naturally.  In a way it felt as if we had taken a million road trips together and I was quickly chatting his ear off about each and every little thing.  We also had an interesting discussion about what it is like to date.  Back when I was in my early twenties, meeting my friends would be a huge deal.  But now, not so much.  Sure its important to me that my friends like this person but it is just also a natural progression of dating, you meet friends, you meet family, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are planning to get married one day. Back at my apartment, things were equally as fun and eventually we found ourselves having some pretty deep pillow talk. 

I must have made some sort of comment saying “I’ve never dated a guy who plans such great dates or who is interested in so many things.”  To which he replied, “You sure do compare me to a lot of other men you’ve dated.”  I was immediately embarrassed and not sure how to respond.  Sheepishly, I admitted I was not comparing him to many men but comparing him to one particular man.  My ex.  He had been awful to me and ultimately cheated on me.  I did not mention that he was my ex-husband but rather he was my ex from a long term relationship.

Mr. I could not have received this news any better.  He was very kind and gentle but in a non-invasive way.  He told me he had never cheated on anyone in his life and was overly confident that he would never cheat on anyone.  I admitted that it was a bit difficult for me at times to trust people, not just people I dated, but people in general after experiencing such a traumatic relationship built on lies and dishonesty.  I told him that I enjoyed hanging out with him but I begged him to always be honest with me.  If he wasn’t interested any more, just tell me.  Mr. I almost laughed at this simple request, just be honest, got it.  He also asked that I just tell him what I am thinking and be open with him if I am having anxiety with trust or what have you but ultimately just to have fun with him and try to let down some walls. 

I felt so great after this conversation.  Regardless of where this will go or what will happen, it felt nice to explain a little bit more of my issues to someone else.  It also felt like a magic blessing to be with a guy who actually wanted me to talk to him about how I felt and base everything on communication.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for someone like that in my life.  Mr. I and I talked while I was on vacation and he is coming over tomorrow night for dinner.  I am going to tell him I divorced.  I am committed to it.  More to follow on that subject but in the mean time, think positive thoughts that he takes this well.

Not sure where my blog is going at this point but feels good to share these details with my friends.  I may be venturing into my first real dating experience after my divorce.  I may also be wounding my soul that my scar of divorce has tainted me for future relationships.  Either way, tomorrow night will be major progress for me.  It is exciting just to image that I can have butterflies again and just to be day dreaming about someone else. 

Plus Mr. I is super good looking, super sweet, and seems very into me.  And ladies after the two years I’ve had a little flattery is very healing to my soul.